Woolworths To Open Again!

The Spoof:

After a dramatic turn of fate Woolies is to re-open. William Woolworth, the last of the Woolworths is to start over selling what Woolworths was famous for, wool. In recent times, with help of the recession, wool sales are on the rise. ‘People love to make there own clothes for both fashion and because of the financial benefits’ said William. He went on ‘Woolworths will re-open, but in a considerably smaller scale’ Woolwich, the company funding the business and in charge of the properties used as retail stores thinks it is a great idea, and said ‘It’s about time wool really took off, it can be very therapeutic at times and enjoyed by all ages’.

The city of Woolchester will be the first city to inhabit a store and the locals are thrilled. James Snips, who runs The Baaaber Shop, thinks it could be great for business exclaiming ‘People will be going mad for all things sheep like, they should get one set up in Wales, pronto!’

William Woolworth, is said to be in talks with the Welsh government and looking at ways of franchising the idea. One Welshman said ‘Dybia dydy a ‘n fawr ddrychfeddwl , cara edafedd’, but sadly no one knows what that means.